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Paul’s Vegas Vacation.

Draft #1.

Intro:

Sex,.. power,.. corruption. (Pause) Unfortunately, my story has none of these. My story is much more pathetic in nature, it is about me getting horribly lost, and how I learned not to trust my friends for directions. For the sake of argument, we’ll call my friends Mitch and Craig, since, well, that is their names and all. This story revolves around our trip home from Las Vegas the weekend before school started.

Body:

So we were in Vegas, living it up, having a pretty good time. Lost some money, saw some shows and attempted to talk to about 3 girls. Either way, on our way home we decided to take a small “detour” of sorts. It was my friend Craig’s birthday and we decided to get him a unique present. Now to understand the present, you have to understand a bit about Craig, he is seemingly terrified of girls and we don’t think he’s touched one before, so we decided to help him overcome his fear by doing the only logical thing. Hire a prostitute! And prostitution is only legal in one county in Nevada, and it’s about an hours drive from Vegas. Unfortunately, when we finally got to ‘Madame Butterflies’, Craig wussed out and went back to the car. My friend Mitch and I had a harder time leaving the place, no pun intended! So we got back in the car and drove into Pahrump, which was the closest town. We got gas, and it was my turn to drive. Mistake number 1. Mitch became the navigator, and insisted he knew a ‘shortcut’ back to Los Angeles. I figured ‘what the hell’ and figured he knew what he was talking about. Mistake number 2. By now, it was getting pretty dark, and I didn’t know where the hell I was going. Finally, about 30 minutes later we came to a fork in the road. There was a sign which read “Baker <- 45 miles, Death Valley –> 15 miles”. For anyone who’s ever been to Vegas, you should know Baker as the town with the huge thermometer, along the 15 freeway. I recommended going towards Baker, since it took us back to the freeway and back on track. But no! Mitch insisted that his ‘shortcut’ went through Death Valley, or so he ‘thought’ he remembered. But I wasn’t going to budge, and I turned the car towards Baker. In pipes Craig saying “Well maybe Mitch is right, let’s go his way. It’ll be an adventure!” His exact words, oh the irony. The fatal Mistake number 3. So I turn the car around and head off into the darkness. And dark it was, no lights, no signs, no other cars, there was not even a moon out that night. We kept driving and driving, and I could only see about 10 feet to my right and left and maybe 20-30 feet in front of me, everything else was pitch black. Oh it was great. Every hour or so we’d see a car going the opposite direction, so we got a little hope we were almost there, but no, the road went ever on and on. Finally, and I do mean finally, we saw some lights up on the horizon, and we all kind of figured it was San Bernardino, but when we got over the hill we saw it was just a little town and a lake. We’re all thinking, “a lake? Where the hell did a lake come from?” Then we see a sign! Oh the glorious sign, it says Los Angles one way, and Bishop the other. We all cheered, we were saved! There was a gas station up the road a bit, but I just kept on driving, since we were almost home. Ha. Literally 4 seconds later there was another sign. Los Angeles: 209 miles. Christ. I did another quick U-Turn and went back to the gas station. Oh how they laughed at us. Apparently, we had gotten ourselves half-way to Tahoe, and were still a good 3 or 4 hours from LA. Oh the humility.

Conclusion:

The rest of the drive went pretty smoothly, doing 95-100 the whole way back, laughing and cursing at our stupidity. We finally got home around midnight, NINE hours after we left Vegas. Nine hours! It took us 4 ½ hours to get there in the first place. Ah! And that is how I learned never to trust my friends with directions again!

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the Bored lives FOREVER.

quote:

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Originally posted by NSA:
My friend Mitch and I had a harder time leaving the place, no pun intended!

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Thanks (you two) for (attempting) reading it though!

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the Bored lives FOREVER.

But yeah, thanks again for reading it. I got 50 out of 50 for the speech, but the next one is going to be harder, it has to be an "Informational" speech.. any ideas?

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the Bored lives FOREVER.

My teacher doesn't want us writing any speeches. he says it then turns to an essay, not a speech. so preparation is key. it's a kick ass class so far though. a nice was to finish out school.

[ February 15, 2002: Message edited by: Walter Sobchek ]