so yesterday was Matt's poetry reading. for those who don't remember, Matt is the guy i'm hopelessly in love with, regardless of all the pain and suffering this brings. first off, on saturday, i had a driving lesson. i loathe driving lessons. driving is not my friend. especially when i almost crash because i see over one hundred (no, i am not exaggerating) people i know, including some really close friends i haven't seen in forever, walking down the street. my teacher wouldn't let me follow them. booo.
so then i get home, and Matt and some other people are there waiting for me. yay. but Matt rode shotgun. boo. i always am forced to sit in the middle, and my friend's car is really cramped, so to be comfortable you have to lie on someone. and i really, needless to say, wanted to lie on Matt.
then we get to the reading and there are a bunch of Matt's friends that only he knows, so he's talking to them pretty much all night, while me and the friends he came with are just like whee. party. well, at least the chai was good.
so then i got to hear him read his poetry, which is amazing, but it was his new stuff which i don't like as much as the old. and then we heard two other poets that i didn't like too much, and we wrote a communal poem which i thought was pretty cool. then Matt was gonna read one of my poems but forgot.
then he promised i could take some pictures of him in the bathroom (no, not dirty like that, i needed reflections in mirrors), but dyed his hair instead and then we had to leave. he said i could take the pictures at Nickel Nickel.
he didn't want to pay the entrance fee for Nickel Nickel, so he said i could take them at dennys.
no one else wanted to go to dennys.
no pictures for me. it's only a school assignment, anyway. it's only for a fucking grade.
then i was gonna get to hang out with Matt, but his friends from the reading followed us so he hung out with them more, and then when they left my friend, who latches on to me every time he sees me, wouldn't get a hint and leave me alone with him.
i sat on Matt's lap for awhile, but then his friends came back and he went "omigod" and shoved me off. bah.
then it was time to go and we couldn't find him and his friends. we finally did and my friend's car wouldn't start. then it did, but we ran out of gas, and got lost, and blah blah blah... i was absolutely silent and still during this whole long drive since i was trying not to cry.
we finally got to my house an hour and forty five minutes past my curfew. i was ready to kill Matt.
so i'm ready to bolt into the house, when my friend says "there's something i've been meaning to tell you tonight." i'm like oh fuck. turns out one of my closest friends, who is 17, has cancer. so now i'm crying, and i don't want to let go of him but i really need to get in my house so i have to.
my dad nearly strangled me when i came in so late.
i was hoping maybe i could sneak in without waking them up, but i just couldn't turn off the alarm. it was being a bitch, so the damn thing was beeping for like five minutes while i was trying to disarm it, praying it wouldn't go off.
then i went to bed and realized i have a huge essay to write today. fuuuuck.

and this, my friends, is why i have to stop looking forward to things.
or hang myself.
one or the other.

[ September 29, 2002: Message edited by: tiddlywynk ]

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the Bored lives FOREVER.